4 Things That Are Just Fine the Way They Are
If it ain't broke, don't fix it! And yes, this includes your thighs and your chocolate habit.
By Jessica Winter
O, The Oprah Magazine | From the January 2010 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
Your Thighs!
A recent Danish study shows that people with thighs less than 24 inches around face a higher risk of heart disease and premature death, even if their body mass index (BMI) is normal. Not only do model-skinny thighs mean less muscle mass (which may mean the body is less able to regulate insulin levels), but some scientists hypothesize that thigh fat acts as a "metabolic sink," flushing the blood of harmful triglycerides (which raise your risk of cardiovascular ills).
YOUR CHOCOLATE HABIT!
An eight-year Swedish study of heart attack survivors showed that chocolate eaters had better survival rates—and the more chocolate they ate, the lower their risk of death. "The antioxidants in chocolate have beneficial effects on blood pressure," explains Kenneth J. Mukamal, MD, coauthor of the study. He's not just talking tiny slivers of ultradark chocolate, either: The average portion eaten by study participants was 50-gram samples (just under two ounces) with about 30 percent cocoa content—picture a few triangles of milk chocolate Toblerone.
YOUR TECHNOLOGY!
"If your computer is less than three years old, and you use it mainly to surf the Web and write e-mail, chances are you don't need a new one," says Peter Rojas, founder of the tech sites Engadget.com and gdgt.com . Likewise, no need to trade up your DVR ("They all do essentially the same thing") or your iPod, if you use it primarily to listen to music ("An iPod Touch or Nano may have less space than your current model"). Your high-def TV is fine, too—at least for now. "Lots of new HDTV display technologies will be coming out in the next couple of years," Rojas says, "so you should wait to upgrade."
YOUR SEX LIFE!
"Women are constantly being told that they need a lot of sex—they feel like they should be walking around feeling desirous all the time," says Hilda Hutcherson, MD, clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University Medical Center. "But it's more common to have ebbs and flows." The average couple has sex about six times a month, which, as Hutcherson points out, means that many women are having much less than that. Even occasional sex gives your heart rate a healthy boost and delivers a rush of endorphins (which enhance mood) and prolactin (which improves sleep).
MY THOUGHTS
meaning, be content with these 4 things. not everything has to change.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
WHY DO I FEEL RESTLESS AND UNFULFILLED?
Q&A - Why Do I Feel Restless and Unfulfilled?
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, LifeScript Personal Coach
Published March 12, 2009
Q: Over the past few months I have become restless and unfullfilled with my life. I love being a wife and mother, but I want more out of life: more money, more happiness, more freedom, more everything. I just don't know how to achieve this. Sometimes I feel as if I am a caged animal that is desperately trying to escape. What could cause me to suddenly be so unhappy with a life that was once fulfilling?
-Elisha B.
A: Hi Elisha,
I’m sure there are a lot of others who can identify with how you feel. I am even more intrigued by the nebulousness of your concern. As a matter of fact, it’s that vague sense of wanting something more or that insatiable itch to do something different with one’s life that is often the driving force that inspires people to take action. I’m curious about your age and the age of your children, as that information would help me better understand your predicament. For example, if your children are approaching college age, the empty nest syndrome often creates the kind of feelings you describe. Other times it can be what we call a mid-life crisis, simple boredom, or in more serious cases, a much deeper psychological issue. So the question remains: What would cause you to “suddenly be so unhappy”?
The short answer, due to the limited information I have, is that I don’t know. I suggest you visit with a therapist or someone from your local place of worship to help you think through this sudden state of unhappiness. You could also stop by your local community college or career center and inquire about taking interest inventories to help you narrow down your interests better. The bottom line is this: There is a little voice whispering discontentment into your ear and I don’t suggest you ignore it. In most cases, action is the antidote for unhappiness. I suggest you become active by taking this to the next level, Elisha, and investigate these feelings with a trained listener.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
MY THOUGHTS
who hasn't experienced that feeling of being unsettled? people feel that at some point. and it's very 'unsettling' because most of us would want to be able to explain why we're feeling that way. i don't mind being in that mood sometimes. contentment and happiness can make us fall into the complacent trap. so, consider feelings of discontent or sadness as 'gentle nudges'. don't bury yourself into the feeling. i'll borrow a line from my dance video - "get up and let yourself go".
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, LifeScript Personal Coach
Published March 12, 2009
Q: Over the past few months I have become restless and unfullfilled with my life. I love being a wife and mother, but I want more out of life: more money, more happiness, more freedom, more everything. I just don't know how to achieve this. Sometimes I feel as if I am a caged animal that is desperately trying to escape. What could cause me to suddenly be so unhappy with a life that was once fulfilling?
-Elisha B.
A: Hi Elisha,
I’m sure there are a lot of others who can identify with how you feel. I am even more intrigued by the nebulousness of your concern. As a matter of fact, it’s that vague sense of wanting something more or that insatiable itch to do something different with one’s life that is often the driving force that inspires people to take action. I’m curious about your age and the age of your children, as that information would help me better understand your predicament. For example, if your children are approaching college age, the empty nest syndrome often creates the kind of feelings you describe. Other times it can be what we call a mid-life crisis, simple boredom, or in more serious cases, a much deeper psychological issue. So the question remains: What would cause you to “suddenly be so unhappy”?
The short answer, due to the limited information I have, is that I don’t know. I suggest you visit with a therapist or someone from your local place of worship to help you think through this sudden state of unhappiness. You could also stop by your local community college or career center and inquire about taking interest inventories to help you narrow down your interests better. The bottom line is this: There is a little voice whispering discontentment into your ear and I don’t suggest you ignore it. In most cases, action is the antidote for unhappiness. I suggest you become active by taking this to the next level, Elisha, and investigate these feelings with a trained listener.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
MY THOUGHTS
who hasn't experienced that feeling of being unsettled? people feel that at some point. and it's very 'unsettling' because most of us would want to be able to explain why we're feeling that way. i don't mind being in that mood sometimes. contentment and happiness can make us fall into the complacent trap. so, consider feelings of discontent or sadness as 'gentle nudges'. don't bury yourself into the feeling. i'll borrow a line from my dance video - "get up and let yourself go".
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
HOW OFTEN DO YOU COMPLAIN?
Q&A - How Do I Stop Complaining?
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, LifeScript Personal Coach
Published January 13, 2009
Q: Do you believe that some people are prone to being negative or pessimistic? My mom was negative, and I find myself unfortunately acting the same way. If so, how does one become less of a complainer?
-Laura N.
A: Hi Laura,
You ask a great question that really sets the stage for positive change in the New Year. I think all of the complainers out there should take your lead and make this year the year they stop complaining as well! Of course, there are sometimes good reasons to complain. However, the kind of complaining you and I are referring to is definitely cut from a different cloth. We are talking about those people who constantly complain about everything! Like many others, your complaining is rooted in your upbringing. In your case, it appears that your mother’s complaining has been passed along to you through her actions. I believe that it’s much more likely you learned this behavior, rather than being genetically predisposed to it. The good news is that pessimism is not a life sentence, and change is absolutely within your ability.
As is true with any unwanted behavior, it is first important that you become aware you are doing it. I suggest you begin with the following awareness activity:
Carry a piece of paper with you and put a mark on it every time you complain. Or, if you’re really brave, allow someone who is with you often to monitor your complaining in this way. Do this for a week, and if you honestly mark down each incident, you’ll be amazed at how often you complain. The shock value alone may be enough to create the change you desire.
The next step is to catch yourself before you complain and begin inserting positive comments in place of your typical negative ones. The purpose is to throw a spotlight on the offending behavior, and then mindfully replace the negative comment with a positive comment. In short, you can learn to stop complaining and be more positive. This activity is a bit like learning to drive a car. At first, you have to concentrate on everything, but eventually, it becomes automatic.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
MY THOUGHTS
am i a habitual complainer? i don't think so. i'm generally a happy person. in fact,lately, i find myself taking less and less notice of frustrating events. since i can't be sure,i should bring that piece of paper with me. i might shock myself.
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, LifeScript Personal Coach
Published January 13, 2009
Q: Do you believe that some people are prone to being negative or pessimistic? My mom was negative, and I find myself unfortunately acting the same way. If so, how does one become less of a complainer?
-Laura N.
A: Hi Laura,
You ask a great question that really sets the stage for positive change in the New Year. I think all of the complainers out there should take your lead and make this year the year they stop complaining as well! Of course, there are sometimes good reasons to complain. However, the kind of complaining you and I are referring to is definitely cut from a different cloth. We are talking about those people who constantly complain about everything! Like many others, your complaining is rooted in your upbringing. In your case, it appears that your mother’s complaining has been passed along to you through her actions. I believe that it’s much more likely you learned this behavior, rather than being genetically predisposed to it. The good news is that pessimism is not a life sentence, and change is absolutely within your ability.
As is true with any unwanted behavior, it is first important that you become aware you are doing it. I suggest you begin with the following awareness activity:
Carry a piece of paper with you and put a mark on it every time you complain. Or, if you’re really brave, allow someone who is with you often to monitor your complaining in this way. Do this for a week, and if you honestly mark down each incident, you’ll be amazed at how often you complain. The shock value alone may be enough to create the change you desire.
The next step is to catch yourself before you complain and begin inserting positive comments in place of your typical negative ones. The purpose is to throw a spotlight on the offending behavior, and then mindfully replace the negative comment with a positive comment. In short, you can learn to stop complaining and be more positive. This activity is a bit like learning to drive a car. At first, you have to concentrate on everything, but eventually, it becomes automatic.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
MY THOUGHTS
am i a habitual complainer? i don't think so. i'm generally a happy person. in fact,lately, i find myself taking less and less notice of frustrating events. since i can't be sure,i should bring that piece of paper with me. i might shock myself.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Scientifically-proven ways to be happier
Scientifically-Proven Ways to Be Happier
By Kimberly Weisul | February 3, 2011
http://www.bnet.com/blog/business-research/scientifically-proven-ways-to-be-happier/711
How can you be happier? Jennifer L. Aaker, a marketing professor at Stanford University’s School of Business, Melanie Rudd, a Stanford MBA student, and Wharton marketing professor Cassie Mogilner, are here to help. Noting that inquiries into money and happiness have found surprisingly few correlations between the two, the trio instead set out to look at the way people spend their time and how that affects happiness. The researchers examined 60 academic studies, then tried to draw links between those findings to draw more general conclusions.
The results? Here are five guidelines they say anyone can use to increase their happiness.
1. Spend time with the “right people.” Sounds simple. But who exactly are the right people? Unfortunately, they’re generally not your office mates, who are the ones people tend to spend the most time with. The people that make you happiest will generally be friends, family, and romantic partners. That’s why one the most powerful influencers of general happiness is whether or not someone has a “best friend” at work and whether or not they like their boss.
* Avoid small talk. A related predictor of happiness is how much substantive discussion a person engages in, compared to small talk. Generally, small talk makes people unhappy, and often, work relationships involve a disproportionate amount of small talk. If you want to increase your happiness, it’s far better to find one or two colleagues with whom you can have a real discussion than to engage in small talk around the water cooler.
2. Spend time on “socially connecting” activities, such as volunteering and spending time with friends.
* Work doesn’t count. Unless your job is particularly fulfilling and your colleagues are your best buds, work is not ’socially connecting’ and is generally one of the more unhappy parts of the day. Commuting is also gets high marks for making people unhappy.
* Volunteering has been proven to be a good way to increase happiness.
* Memory is important, because it helps us take an event that happened in the past and extend its ‘worth’ into the future. One way to help choose experiences that will increase happiness is to consider how you might remember them in the future. What are your happiest memories? How might you create more similar memories?
3. Day dream, or, as the researchers say, enjoy the experience without spending the time. As counterintuitive as it may seem, research has shown that the part of the brain responsible for feeling pleasure can be activated just by thinking about something pleasurable. And we often enjoy the anticipation of something pleasurable more than the actual experience that we think is going to be so great. The most common example is vacation planning, which some find more pleasurable than the vacation itself.
4. Expand your time. No, this does not mean you have to find a warp in the space-time continuum (although it might help). Focusing on the “here and now” slows down the perceived passage of time, allowing people to feel less rushed and hurried. How can we do that?
* Breathe slowly. Just for a few minutes. As the authors write: “In one study, subjects who were instructed to take long and slow breaths (vs. short and quick ones) for 5 minutes not only felt there was more time available to get things done, but also perceived their day to be longer.”
* Volunteering makes it seem like you have more time. In general, spending time on someone else makes people feel like they have more spare time and that their future is more expansive.
* Pay people to do the chores you hate. Activities that we choose to do generally make us happier than those that are obligatory. So if you can afford it, hire someone else to do some of the ‘obligatory’ tasks, such as cleaning the house. Then use the time you’ve ‘bought’ not to catch up on work, but to do something you genuinely enjoy.
5. Be aware that aging changes the way people experience happiness. Youths tend to equate happiness with excitement, but as people get older, happiness is associated with feeling peaceful. Young people get more happiness from spending time with interesting new acquaintances, while older people get more enjoyment from spending time with close friends and family.
Do these sound like guidelines you can follow in your own life? What activities make you happy? What else do you think should be on the list?
Kimberly Weisul is a freelance writer and editor. You can follow her at www.twitter.com/weisul.
MY THOUGHTS
it's official! i am not young anymore. i have come to dislike crowds and noisy places. i prefer lunch or dinner with a select group of 'real' friends. i love family vacations in a place where there are only a few people around and there's space to retreat to when things get to be too much. spending hours at a mall used to bring me so much happiness. now,i avoid it like the plague and try to limit myself to quick trips at the grocery.
i need to do some volunteering again. a couple of years ago i spent 1 whole day wrapping gifts for underprivileged kids. it was backbreaking but gave me a sense of well-being that's hard to explain. maybe i should start daydreaming about my next volunteer escapade.
By Kimberly Weisul | February 3, 2011
http://www.bnet.com/blog/business-research/scientifically-proven-ways-to-be-happier/711
How can you be happier? Jennifer L. Aaker, a marketing professor at Stanford University’s School of Business, Melanie Rudd, a Stanford MBA student, and Wharton marketing professor Cassie Mogilner, are here to help. Noting that inquiries into money and happiness have found surprisingly few correlations between the two, the trio instead set out to look at the way people spend their time and how that affects happiness. The researchers examined 60 academic studies, then tried to draw links between those findings to draw more general conclusions.
The results? Here are five guidelines they say anyone can use to increase their happiness.
1. Spend time with the “right people.” Sounds simple. But who exactly are the right people? Unfortunately, they’re generally not your office mates, who are the ones people tend to spend the most time with. The people that make you happiest will generally be friends, family, and romantic partners. That’s why one the most powerful influencers of general happiness is whether or not someone has a “best friend” at work and whether or not they like their boss.
* Avoid small talk. A related predictor of happiness is how much substantive discussion a person engages in, compared to small talk. Generally, small talk makes people unhappy, and often, work relationships involve a disproportionate amount of small talk. If you want to increase your happiness, it’s far better to find one or two colleagues with whom you can have a real discussion than to engage in small talk around the water cooler.
2. Spend time on “socially connecting” activities, such as volunteering and spending time with friends.
* Work doesn’t count. Unless your job is particularly fulfilling and your colleagues are your best buds, work is not ’socially connecting’ and is generally one of the more unhappy parts of the day. Commuting is also gets high marks for making people unhappy.
* Volunteering has been proven to be a good way to increase happiness.
* Memory is important, because it helps us take an event that happened in the past and extend its ‘worth’ into the future. One way to help choose experiences that will increase happiness is to consider how you might remember them in the future. What are your happiest memories? How might you create more similar memories?
3. Day dream, or, as the researchers say, enjoy the experience without spending the time. As counterintuitive as it may seem, research has shown that the part of the brain responsible for feeling pleasure can be activated just by thinking about something pleasurable. And we often enjoy the anticipation of something pleasurable more than the actual experience that we think is going to be so great. The most common example is vacation planning, which some find more pleasurable than the vacation itself.
4. Expand your time. No, this does not mean you have to find a warp in the space-time continuum (although it might help). Focusing on the “here and now” slows down the perceived passage of time, allowing people to feel less rushed and hurried. How can we do that?
* Breathe slowly. Just for a few minutes. As the authors write: “In one study, subjects who were instructed to take long and slow breaths (vs. short and quick ones) for 5 minutes not only felt there was more time available to get things done, but also perceived their day to be longer.”
* Volunteering makes it seem like you have more time. In general, spending time on someone else makes people feel like they have more spare time and that their future is more expansive.
* Pay people to do the chores you hate. Activities that we choose to do generally make us happier than those that are obligatory. So if you can afford it, hire someone else to do some of the ‘obligatory’ tasks, such as cleaning the house. Then use the time you’ve ‘bought’ not to catch up on work, but to do something you genuinely enjoy.
5. Be aware that aging changes the way people experience happiness. Youths tend to equate happiness with excitement, but as people get older, happiness is associated with feeling peaceful. Young people get more happiness from spending time with interesting new acquaintances, while older people get more enjoyment from spending time with close friends and family.
Do these sound like guidelines you can follow in your own life? What activities make you happy? What else do you think should be on the list?
Kimberly Weisul is a freelance writer and editor. You can follow her at www.twitter.com/weisul.
MY THOUGHTS
it's official! i am not young anymore. i have come to dislike crowds and noisy places. i prefer lunch or dinner with a select group of 'real' friends. i love family vacations in a place where there are only a few people around and there's space to retreat to when things get to be too much. spending hours at a mall used to bring me so much happiness. now,i avoid it like the plague and try to limit myself to quick trips at the grocery.
i need to do some volunteering again. a couple of years ago i spent 1 whole day wrapping gifts for underprivileged kids. it was backbreaking but gave me a sense of well-being that's hard to explain. maybe i should start daydreaming about my next volunteer escapade.
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