the woman and the hair

The Joy of the Journey Is in the Ride
By Sandra Magsamen
Original Content | May 30, 2008

I used to be one of those people who, when it was time for vacation, found myself over packing and overloading my suitcase with tons of stuff that I was sure I was going to need for my trip. I'd pull and lift, roll and drag way too much stuff with me whenever I'd travel. Truth is, I had a lot of baggage. Instead of heading off to vacation with room for a future adventure, I was carrying way too much of the past with me. I guess I was stuck in thinking I needed what was familiar and comforting. Then I heard this great little story that changed all that.

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. "Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did and had a wonderful day. The next day, she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "Hmm," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and had a fantastic day. The next day, she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a ponytail." So she did and had a really great day. The next day, she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YEA!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

This wonderful story reminded me that each day new challenges and adventures come our way. To be really happy, we have to adapt, roll with the changes and embrace the adventure instead of clinging to old ways of living and to the past. This little story makes one point really clear—attitude is everything! When you begin to realize that attitude is a powerful tool, it can change your life for the better, forever.

Armed with this new sense of freedom and attitude and tired of dragging all my old stuff with me, I decided to start my vacation in Maine last summer with just the basics. I threw a few shirts and skirts and a great pair of shoes in a bag and set out on my way. I elected to pick up things that I really loved all along the journey. While on vacation, I drifted in and out of antique stores, junk shops and yard sales. I picked up little things that caught my eye—forgotten buttons, scraps of fabric, old sheet music and charms that had long ago fallen off their bracelets. As I strolled on the beach, I felt lucky to find broken pieces of painted china, small pieces of driftwood and worn sea glass in a variety of colors, shapes and sizes. At sunset, I poured myself a glass of wine, toasted the day's end and began tinkering with the loot I'd collected.

I found a long piece of twine in the house we rented. I think its original use was to tie up the newspapers for recycling, but I had other designs on it. In my cosmetic case, I found a sewing kit from a hotel. As the natural light of day faded, I began stitching the bits and pieces of my day's journey onto the twine until my eyes got tired and the rumbling of my tummy called for dinner. Every evening, I added a few more treasures to the twine. At the end of the week's vacation, I tied a knot in the now highly decorated cord and slipped it over my neck as I headed to the car for the drive home. Whenever I wear my creation, I am instantly transported to the feelings of rest and relaxation and the memory of a time I cherished.

I like to keep a travel journal on vacation, but because I did not bring a book with me, I started searching for one along the way. I went to the local library where they were hosting their summer book sale, and for 50 cents I bought a brightly covered, red, hardbound book that became the canvas for my travel journal. I added pages simply by stapling blank ones in among the typed ones, glued in pictures of places we'd gone, recorded the most wonderful things we ate for lunch and dinner, drew pictures of the houses along the beach and filled the book with little pieces of what turned out to be a big adventure.

I've learned that you don't need to take lots of stuff with you when you travel—it's best to travel light and take in the new experiences. Use anything you find to document your trip and make a journal. Guide books, menus and old books all make for great journals. I met a woman the other day who writes on her boarding passes from the plane. She has saved a box full, and they share the story of her life's journey. You too can fill your journal with thoughts for the day, poems you discover, a list of things you found beautiful in the day and anything and everything that touches your heart.

The true joy of a trip isn't always in the destination. How one woman left her emotional baggage at home and started embracing the adventures of life.

MY THOUGHTS

if there is anything in my blogs that i wish people would read, this is the one. i like the story of the woman and her hair. not because it's funny. which is a plus by the way. but because it's packed with the real essence of how to live our lives with joy. not just happiness. joy. joy that sometimes we cannot explain. because it doesn't come from anything temporary. joy that comes from somewhere deep within. joy that's inspired by the Higher Being.

i am so like the author when i travel. heck (sorry!), there was a time in my crazy life when i packed several photo albums. yes! not just pictures. the whole album!!! and the man in the album turned out to be a real pain in the %$#. i've forgiven him. and myself, for that matter. that was part of my journey.

you see, just like this lady, i filled my life with so many things, past and present, most of them non-valuables. the result? there's no more space for new, more valuable things. when i travel, i bring so many things. because i might need them. then i would shop myself to death. buying things that i MAY need. i end up with with more baggage.

i'm still trying to learn to travel light. and i just don't mean luggage. i'm learning, that the way to receive is not simply to open up myself. i have to empty myself. i hope that God will continue using me to fill people up. i'd like to be able to rise up to that occasion when God sees it fit. but i'm learning to see it the other way, too. i'm not the only one that God wants to use. i also need filling-up. and that won't happen when i am so full.

travel light. live simply. enjoy the journey. i'll get there one day.

The Future You

Your Best Career Coach: The Future You
By Marshall Goldsmith | August 10, 2010

The best coaching you’ll ever get will not come from another person. It will come from inside you.

Take a deep breath. Take a deeper breath. Imagine that you’re 100 years old and you’re getting ready to die. Before you take that last breath, you’re given a wonderful gift: the opportunity to go back in time and talk with the person who is reading this blog post today, to help this younger version of yourself have a better life — both personally and professionally.

What advice would the wise 100-year-old you — who finally knows what really mattered in life — have for the you that is reading this blog post? As you think of the older you, whatever advice comes to mind, just do that.

In terms of performance appraisals, this is the only one that will matter. At the end of the day, the only person that you will need to impress is that old person that will one day look back at you from the mirror. If that old person thinks that you did the right thing, you did. If that old person thinks that you made a mistake, you did. You don’t have to impress anyone else.

Some good friends of mine had the opportunity to ask old people who were facing death what advice they would have for their younger selves. Three themes emerged:

1. Be happy now. Don’t wait for next week, next month or next year. A common regret of old people was, “I got so focused on trying to get what I did not have, I failed to appreciate all that I did have. I had almost everything. I wish that I would’ve taken the time to appreciate it.”

I ‘ve asked thousand of parents around the world to complete this sentence, “When my children grow up, I want them to be…” One world is mentioned more than all of the other words combined — no matter what country I am in. What is that word? Happy.

Do you want your children to be happy? Do you want your parents to be happy? Do you want the people that love you to be happy? Do you want the people who respect you at work to be happy? Then, you go first. They want you to be happy, too.

2. Build relationships and help people, especially friends and family. When you’re 100 years old and you look around your death bed, no fellow employees will be waving good-bye. You’ll finally realize that your friends and family are the only ones that care. They are the ones that matter.

Of course, building relationships and helping people are also keys to ultimate satisfaction with your professional career. I have asked many retired CEOs an important question about their professional lives, “What were you most proud of?” So far, none have talked about have large their offices were. All they talked about were the people they helped.

The main reason to help people has nothing to do with money, status or promotion. The main reason is simple: the 100-year-old you will be proud of you if you did — and disappointed in you if you didn’t.

3. If you have a dream, go for it. If you don’t try to achieve your dreams when you are 25, you probably won’t when you are 45, 65 or 85. None of us will achieve all of our dreams. The key question is not, “Did I achieve all of my dreams?” The key question is, “Did I at least try?” Old people almost never regretted the risks they took that failed. They almost always regretted the risks that they failed to take.

No one else can tell you how to find happiness, who to love or where to find meaning. Only you can answer these questions. The best coaching that you will ever receive will not come from any other person, it will come from inside you.

So, what advice would the “old you” have for the you that just read this post? If you don’t mind sharing your thoughts with other readers, I’d love to hear them.

. Person, Professional Development, Performance Appraisal, Blogging, Performance Management, Team Management, Strategy, Career, Internet, Management, Karen Steen more +

MY THOUGHTS

what advice? i don't know!!! that's one tough question. maybe to live a life that you don't necessarily have to be proud of but one that won't bring you embarrassment? maybe to live simply and find happiness with things that are free? maybe to NOT expect anything in return when you help? i know the best advice i can give is to get advice from the wisest - read the bible. and live out what you read. there are no maybe's there.

Declutter Your Finances

Declutter Your Finances
By Peter Walsh
Oprah Radio | October 09, 2008

Step 1: Envision the Life You Want
Financial order is absolutely necessary for the time, energy, and emotional and spiritual health to create the vision you want of your life, Peter says. Most people think the opposite of debt is wealth, but Peter says the opposite of debt is no debt: a life where you are living within your means and where you don’t lie to yourself about how much money you have or pretend that you can afford things that you can’t. "It is a life of freedom," he says.

Start decluttering your finances with this basic question, Peter says: What is the vision you have for your life? Then ask yourself the following:

•Is your vision realistic?
•What is the reality vs. the vision? Where is there dissonance between the life you have and the life you want?
•Does the stuff you consume (or the stuff you want and have to have) take you closer to or further away from the life you want?

Step 2: Look at the True Cost of Your Debt
The quantity of your stuff can no longer be considered the measure of your success, Peter says. Rather, it is the quality of your relationships that lead to deeper happiness, he says. "Debt doesn't just ruin your credit rating—it ruins your relationships," Peter says. "Debt creates selfishness, an inward focus and preoccupation that robs you of what really matters—your true self and your relationships."

Step 3: Explore Your Limits
Just as you only have so much space in your home, you only have so much money, time and emotional energy, Peter says. Credit card companies offer no-limit and high-dollar credit cards, giving you the illusion that you can buy on credit forever. You can max out on your credit cards, but Peter says you can also max out the time and energy you need to spend generating money to pay your bills. "Recognize and pinpoint your limits," he says. "You can continue to ignore them, or you can start to set limits for yourself."

Step 4: Assess Your Spending Habits
Look at your spending habits and figure out exactly what you're spending your money on. "Where is your pursuit of 'more' taking over your life, robbing you of true happiness?" Peter asks. "More" could be eating out at restaurants, shopping for clothes or taking luxury vacations. "Shopping is a means to an end," he says. "If it's an end in itself, then there's a problem."

Step 5: Discuss Necessities vs. Luxuries
Once people get their hands on a little bit of money, they start to think that luxuries are essentials and will do anything to keep their lifestyle, Peter says. "There are very few luxuries in your life that are essential to you: your family and their happiness," Peter says. "Sit and talk with your spouse, partner or family, and separate what you consider to be necessities from the luxuries."

Step 6: Consider Your Happiness Quotient
Happiness is all about balance, Peter says. When you're in debt, you're out of balance. "Head, heart and spirit—it's all connected," Peter says. "Consider where you derive pleasure and happiness from in your life."

Step 7: Create Space for What Really Matters
Once you've decluttered and organized, your life will take on a different focus—the "stuff" loses its importance, Peter says. Think about what you want from your home and how can achieving it, he says. Cutting down on the influx of stuff will immediately translate into spending less money. "Your home is a respite, a reflection of your goals," Peter says. "Consuming less improves your lifestyle, and an ordered home reflects a life without debt."

Step 8: Make It Real
Take time to develop a budget, seek sound financial advice and establish a financial plan. "Now is the time to organize your home, your wallet and bank account to achieve what you desire," he says. Ask yourself the following questions:

•How much should you be spending on your living expenses?
•What is a reasonable amount to spend each month on rent or a mortgage? Food and entertainment?
•How much should be going into your savings? Should you be investing?

MY THOUGHTS

I'd like to think i'm on step 7. i know how how its is to be way over what i can afford. my most important realization is that the things that i've accumulated actually became a burden. it took a while. and i'm not done yet. but i'm learning how to live simply - a smaller space, less things to take care of, spending only on needs rather than wants. the process hurts sometimes. but the end result is so much better. life has certainly taken a different course - one that made me appreciate what i have. the best part was letting go. i feel free. and happy.