Q&A - Why Do I Feel Restless and Unfulfilled?
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, LifeScript Personal Coach
Published March 12, 2009
Q: Over the past few months I have become restless and unfullfilled with my life. I love being a wife and mother, but I want more out of life: more money, more happiness, more freedom, more everything. I just don't know how to achieve this. Sometimes I feel as if I am a caged animal that is desperately trying to escape. What could cause me to suddenly be so unhappy with a life that was once fulfilling?
-Elisha B.
A: Hi Elisha,
I’m sure there are a lot of others who can identify with how you feel. I am even more intrigued by the nebulousness of your concern. As a matter of fact, it’s that vague sense of wanting something more or that insatiable itch to do something different with one’s life that is often the driving force that inspires people to take action. I’m curious about your age and the age of your children, as that information would help me better understand your predicament. For example, if your children are approaching college age, the empty nest syndrome often creates the kind of feelings you describe. Other times it can be what we call a mid-life crisis, simple boredom, or in more serious cases, a much deeper psychological issue. So the question remains: What would cause you to “suddenly be so unhappy”?
The short answer, due to the limited information I have, is that I don’t know. I suggest you visit with a therapist or someone from your local place of worship to help you think through this sudden state of unhappiness. You could also stop by your local community college or career center and inquire about taking interest inventories to help you narrow down your interests better. The bottom line is this: There is a little voice whispering discontentment into your ear and I don’t suggest you ignore it. In most cases, action is the antidote for unhappiness. I suggest you become active by taking this to the next level, Elisha, and investigate these feelings with a trained listener.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
MY THOUGHTS
who hasn't experienced that feeling of being unsettled? people feel that at some point. and it's very 'unsettling' because most of us would want to be able to explain why we're feeling that way. i don't mind being in that mood sometimes. contentment and happiness can make us fall into the complacent trap. so, consider feelings of discontent or sadness as 'gentle nudges'. don't bury yourself into the feeling. i'll borrow a line from my dance video - "get up and let yourself go".
Showing posts with label be postive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label be postive. Show all posts
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
HOW OFTEN DO YOU COMPLAIN?
Q&A - How Do I Stop Complaining?
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, LifeScript Personal Coach
Published January 13, 2009
Q: Do you believe that some people are prone to being negative or pessimistic? My mom was negative, and I find myself unfortunately acting the same way. If so, how does one become less of a complainer?
-Laura N.
A: Hi Laura,
You ask a great question that really sets the stage for positive change in the New Year. I think all of the complainers out there should take your lead and make this year the year they stop complaining as well! Of course, there are sometimes good reasons to complain. However, the kind of complaining you and I are referring to is definitely cut from a different cloth. We are talking about those people who constantly complain about everything! Like many others, your complaining is rooted in your upbringing. In your case, it appears that your mother’s complaining has been passed along to you through her actions. I believe that it’s much more likely you learned this behavior, rather than being genetically predisposed to it. The good news is that pessimism is not a life sentence, and change is absolutely within your ability.
As is true with any unwanted behavior, it is first important that you become aware you are doing it. I suggest you begin with the following awareness activity:
Carry a piece of paper with you and put a mark on it every time you complain. Or, if you’re really brave, allow someone who is with you often to monitor your complaining in this way. Do this for a week, and if you honestly mark down each incident, you’ll be amazed at how often you complain. The shock value alone may be enough to create the change you desire.
The next step is to catch yourself before you complain and begin inserting positive comments in place of your typical negative ones. The purpose is to throw a spotlight on the offending behavior, and then mindfully replace the negative comment with a positive comment. In short, you can learn to stop complaining and be more positive. This activity is a bit like learning to drive a car. At first, you have to concentrate on everything, but eventually, it becomes automatic.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
MY THOUGHTS
am i a habitual complainer? i don't think so. i'm generally a happy person. in fact,lately, i find myself taking less and less notice of frustrating events. since i can't be sure,i should bring that piece of paper with me. i might shock myself.
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, LifeScript Personal Coach
Published January 13, 2009
Q: Do you believe that some people are prone to being negative or pessimistic? My mom was negative, and I find myself unfortunately acting the same way. If so, how does one become less of a complainer?
-Laura N.
A: Hi Laura,
You ask a great question that really sets the stage for positive change in the New Year. I think all of the complainers out there should take your lead and make this year the year they stop complaining as well! Of course, there are sometimes good reasons to complain. However, the kind of complaining you and I are referring to is definitely cut from a different cloth. We are talking about those people who constantly complain about everything! Like many others, your complaining is rooted in your upbringing. In your case, it appears that your mother’s complaining has been passed along to you through her actions. I believe that it’s much more likely you learned this behavior, rather than being genetically predisposed to it. The good news is that pessimism is not a life sentence, and change is absolutely within your ability.
As is true with any unwanted behavior, it is first important that you become aware you are doing it. I suggest you begin with the following awareness activity:
Carry a piece of paper with you and put a mark on it every time you complain. Or, if you’re really brave, allow someone who is with you often to monitor your complaining in this way. Do this for a week, and if you honestly mark down each incident, you’ll be amazed at how often you complain. The shock value alone may be enough to create the change you desire.
The next step is to catch yourself before you complain and begin inserting positive comments in place of your typical negative ones. The purpose is to throw a spotlight on the offending behavior, and then mindfully replace the negative comment with a positive comment. In short, you can learn to stop complaining and be more positive. This activity is a bit like learning to drive a car. At first, you have to concentrate on everything, but eventually, it becomes automatic.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
MY THOUGHTS
am i a habitual complainer? i don't think so. i'm generally a happy person. in fact,lately, i find myself taking less and less notice of frustrating events. since i can't be sure,i should bring that piece of paper with me. i might shock myself.
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